I'm so sorry my pretties (well the 3 of you reading my blog), it's been a super busy couple of months, with a promotion, a move and a 25th Birthday that has passed. So I haven't had the time to tend to you :(
One thing I realised is: Getting older sucks. Yes, I'm still in my twenties but can start smelling the pugnent stench of 30. This also being accompanied by random people asking my age and then responding in a cool hipster black dude voice :" Damn bitch you old!! Why are you still going out? Don't you have a husband and shit?" The answer my dear random is: "No I'm really not that old, I'm two years older than you are. Becasue I am a social person that enjoys smoking and spending time with friends.No, I don't have a husband, seeing as I think people getting married at this age get excited over Tupperware parties, I'm not there yet."
But alas the curse of the 25th year, the Quarter-Life crisis prevails, below some things I noticed about this time of your life:
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.
What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You miss the comforts of university, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly the only thing constant in your life is change and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better; All this while you had been convincing yourself that you didn't want to be tied down to any person; Now suddenly you have moments of self-doubt when you wonder if you waited too long and let someone special get away. Random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You want to be independent but suddenly, the idea of having the stability of a special someone to trust and lean on doesn't seem all that bad. You want to be your own person and yet be taken care of at the same time.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry that if you don't make dramatic changes and go on adventures now, in your youth, you might get tied down and one day become a bitter empty shell person totally absorbed in their work, but if you mess around for too long, all your friends will be settled and working and you will be the disorganised hippie with no place to stay.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
One thing I realised is: Getting older sucks. Yes, I'm still in my twenties but can start smelling the pugnent stench of 30. This also being accompanied by random people asking my age and then responding in a cool hipster black dude voice :" Damn bitch you old!! Why are you still going out? Don't you have a husband and shit?" The answer my dear random is: "No I'm really not that old, I'm two years older than you are. Becasue I am a social person that enjoys smoking and spending time with friends.No, I don't have a husband, seeing as I think people getting married at this age get excited over Tupperware parties, I'm not there yet."
But alas the curse of the 25th year, the Quarter-Life crisis prevails, below some things I noticed about this time of your life:
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.
What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You miss the comforts of university, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly the only thing constant in your life is change and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better; All this while you had been convincing yourself that you didn't want to be tied down to any person; Now suddenly you have moments of self-doubt when you wonder if you waited too long and let someone special get away. Random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You want to be independent but suddenly, the idea of having the stability of a special someone to trust and lean on doesn't seem all that bad. You want to be your own person and yet be taken care of at the same time.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry that if you don't make dramatic changes and go on adventures now, in your youth, you might get tied down and one day become a bitter empty shell person totally absorbed in their work, but if you mess around for too long, all your friends will be settled and working and you will be the disorganised hippie with no place to stay.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
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